Marcus Wheeler; Gone but NEVER Forgotten

Tuesday May 12, 2015, the world lost an amazing soul. Marcus Wheeler was not only just an athlete, he was a friend, a brother, and a son. His smile touched anyone who was lucky enough to see it. His laugh was contagious to anyone who heard it. I first met Marcus my Sophomore year at Hamilton High School. I remember him as this energetic skinny little freshman that could never stay quite. He was one of those kids that, if you were having a bad day or were sad, could turn your bad day into a good one. I can't even think of a time where he was sad or angry. He always had a smile on his face or was putting one on someone else's. He was one of the most caring people I knew. For Marcus to do what he did took all of us by surprise. We all loved him so much, and none of us expected this from him. We all keep looking back trying to figure out what we could have done different. What could we have done to make this not happen. He showed signs, he asked for help but none of us knew how to help him. Most people are already calling him "selfish", that "he took the easy way out", but suicide IS NOT the easy way out. People commit suicide because they have no other way out. They have no other way to make the pain and sadness that they feel every day go away. They don't do it because they want to, they do it because its the last option to make the feelings go away. Marcus's actions affected me more then I thought they would. I got the phone call from my mom that morning and all I kept thinking was that it had to be a mistake. That there was no way in hell he would ever do something like this. I still can't believe it even now. I keep thinking that I'm just going to wake up and it will all be a dream, that it never happened. I just keep thinking that I knew exactly how he felt. What he was going through, how he was feeling every single day because that was me just a few months ago. I went through the lowest point of my life. I woke every day wishing I didn't. I hated my life, and I couldn't bare to be around anyone or even run track or go to class. My life got so bad that I even tried to self-medicate myself so I didn't have to go through the sadness and pain that I felt every second of every day. I would go to practice or class after taking pills just so I didn't have to feel anything. Every day I woke up, I didn't care about anyone or anything, all that mattered to me was how I was going to survive another day. Things got so bad for me that I ended up in the hospital. I was so good at hiding the fact of how sad I was, how depressed I was that no one knew until it was to late. Somehow I was lucky enough to survive my low point in life. I wish I could say the same for Marcus. His smile and laugh are what we need to remember the most about him. We need to remember the happy kid that would laugh at anything and make you laugh too. We need remember his life and his accomplishments and not the way it ended. Marcus Wheeler was one of the top athletes in Arizona and we will all miss that competitive sprit of his. Not everyone can be helped but everyone can help someone. Please don't feel like you are alone. There is always someone who will listen. No one is ever alone. Marcus we will always miss you and love you! Please watch over me and my team this weekend during Pac-12's. This weekend is dedicated to you little bro! I miss you already.